Nothing prepares you for the loss of your child.

Nothing.

When the moment comes and you are given information to suggest that you will never see your child's face again, you will never let your child know how much you love them, that you will never touch them, caress them, yell at them, smile with them, that you wish you never said those harsh words spoken so freely, that you would grasp your child and soak up every bit of essence of them being simply your child, why your brain can not process this devastating bit of news.

It. Does. Not. Compute.

It does not seem possible that the child you gave life to, has simply been torn from the now and will be forever placed in the past and all those years of you caring for your child, worrying about your child, loving your child is now simply memories, you can not begin to comprehend the physical and emotional hurt that threatens to suffocate your very being.

Yes, life does go on but you now realize that you will never be the same, ever again. Something has died inside you and will never be set free of the gnawing, aching, throbbing pain smack dab in the middle of your chest.

There will be many times you will ask yourself why you were not taken and your child spared and you will never get an answer that will satisfy the deep mourning nestled inside your soul.

Never.

My sweet friend, I am thinking of you.

Bless.